Love and relationships are never quite as easy as anyone wishes them to be. While falling in love may sound so painless and effortless, it often turns out to be the opposite of that. It takes a lot of dating and intuition to know what you want, and the same goes for what you don’t want.
We’ve all dated people who were not any good for us, sometimes we even knew from the start that they weren’t the one, so why do we stick with someone regardless of that fact? For many of us it all boils down plain and simply to denial. We end up ignoring the warning signs and make excuses for our partner’s behavior, or whatever else it is that keeps us from fully loving them.
In a similar vein, we may also lie and tell ourselves that everything is great and that it will all work out in the end. We become so convinced that we write off the nagging feeling at the back of our mind that’s trying to tell us to get out of the relationship now and move on!
While men and women are both guilty of working up their partners into something they are not, it seems that women are the ones who ignore the obvious signs that their relationship is failing more than men do. Perhaps they get blinded by the allure or content the comfort that comes with being with someone and end up missing the warning signals the man is sending their way. When you finally take a moment to step back and evaluate both your feelings and your partner’s behaviors, that’s when you can truly realize whether or not he is in fact the one for you. However, there are some clear signs that show you he is not the one and they are covered below:
1. He Puts Himself First:
All of his needs, wants, desires, dreams, goals, his career, and just about everything else, comes first. If he’s always discounting your ideas and making important decisions without you, then he is in control and is not thinking about what is best for the both of you. When that happens, it’s as if only his future matters and it’s all about him. You may or may not fit into the long-term picture he has in mind, so why stick around to wait and find out?
2. There’s a Noticeable Lack of Two-Way Communication:
Men are not well known for being great communicators, and that’s fine. It’s when a guy shuts you down and completely tunes you out that speaks volumes about an impending breakdown in the relationship. The only way you can truly get to know someone or get over issues is by talking, listening, and explaining your respective sides. If you can’t talk open and honestly about the little things, how are you ever going to get past that and deal with the bigger, more meaningful stuff?
3. He Has Betrayed Your Trust:
Whether he has lied to you repeatedly in the past about important things or he cheated on you with another person, such behavior should never be taken lightly. It shows a total lack of respect and is completely unacceptable. When the trust between a couple is broken it takes a lot of hard work, dedication to the relationship, and commitment to truly get past it. If he has damaged the trust you have in him, then he’s probably not ready to share a life with you and it’s best to move on so that you can heal and find someone that is trustworthy.
4. He’s Immature:
If a guy acts like a child and throws tantrums, is overly selfish, becomes jealous when it’s completely uncalled for, these types of behaviors are major red flags. He’s proving himself to be immature and he still has a lot of emotional growing up to do. If you want to date and be with a man, don’t stay with someone who still acts like a boy.
5. He’s Always Unemotional:
Oftentimes men will initially put on a tough guy act whenever they meet someone new. They do this because they want to look strong and masculine, or sometimes it’s part of their nature. However, if the guy you’re with never eventually opens up or shows his emotions, then it will be impossible to ever connect with him on that deeper level. Being vulnerable and emotionally available is a cornerstone to any long-lasting relationship. If he cannot understand that being emotionally available is a vital part of love and commitment, it’s time to move on.
6. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Happy or Good:
If a guy is forever putting you down or judging you and the choices you make, it’s enough to make anyone feel miserable and negative about their own self worth. This type of behavior can quickly spiral out of control and become abusive and manipulative. When you no longer feel happy or respected because of his actions or words, you need to end things. He’s taking you for granted and doesn’t deserve to have you in his life.
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