I was out with my people, just trying to have a nice, relaxing day in the park. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect and I was pretty sure I could smell a squirrel. Maybe even two, but it is hard to say for sure. Let’s just say there was a good amount of squirrel potential, and all in all things were looking promising.
Then the crow came. That filthy little crow, with far too much intelligence packed into that tiny little brain, and his morbid sense of humor. I didn’t like his cavalier attitude from the moment I first saw him.
Little did I know just how much cruelty could be packed into a brain the size of a damn peanut. I would soon find out. Sneaky little bird followed me around everywhere I went, and every time I would use my considerable size and long teeth to scare the vermin away. But he would only jump just out of reach, to a perfect spot from which to continue his vacuous taunts.
Then he crossed the line. The tail is off-limits, and is never to be touched by any bird or reptile. The punishment for breaking this iron dog law is death, if I can catch you.
Unfortunately, you have wings and I do not, so we will have to settle this in another life when I have wings and you do not, or at least you are much smaller than I. Until then, you shall haunt my nightmares with your sneaky ways and rude habits.
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