What is Your Spirit Animal? Find Out

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What is your spirit animal? Mine is the glorious chicken. It guides me in my daily quest for perfection, helping mainly by telling me that I should be a vegetarian. I like vegetables, so I don’t mind, but it would be nice if it gave me something with a little more substance.

Like chicken. Oh wait, we aren’t talking about food anymore, I got distracted by the chicken. My chicken guide is scowling at me. Who knew a chicken could be such a taskmaster?

All I want to do is relax and eat some cookies. The chicken says that’s cool, as long as they are not chicken cookies. I thought this spirit animal thing was going to be way more interesting. Who chooses these things, anyway?

I went into the spirit animal store expecting to walk out with something cool like a bear, or at least a coyote, but all they had left was the chicken. Apparently obtaining high quality spirit animals is a tough business, they probably have to do weird illegal black market voodoo stuff to get them.

I would just exchange it, but I got roped in to the two year contract with insurance, and it costs twice as much to break it than it did to buy the thing in the first place. I’ll just have to wait until I qualify for an upgrade.

Maybe they’ll have a cockatoo or something, I heard parrots make really great spirit animals, plus they know English. Translating chicken is time consuming, especially because they have four hundred different words for chicken. Narcissists.

What is your spirit animal? let us know

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